“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life,” a favorite quote of mine by J.K.Rowling. Rock bottom. Have you been there? I have! And, believe it or not, in one of the most beautiful places in the world. Leave it to me, a Gemini, Queen of Paradox to be at my all-time low in the middle of one of the most beautiful places on earth. And yet, how perfect! Allow me to digress…
We were one of those home buyers who decided to buy a home in 2006, when houses were at an unaffordable, all time high. We sunk our life savings into our “dream home.” But by 2010, we were financially drained. Our home was worth half of what we owed on it (never mind all the money we’d sunk into if for improvements). So, in 2011 we made the heartbreaking decision to short sale it. I felt like my world was crashing down around me, falling apart. I was, after all, losing everyTHING I’d ever worked so hard for. And, I was quitting, something I’d never done. I felt like a failure. We had failed our children, our family!
Then, our daughter got sick, really sick, and suddenly the house was a side note. Losing the house became a trivial concern. And the hits just kept coming. Our son fell ill, a serious illness as well. We settled into our rental home and the new norm became doctor’s appointments. Medical bills were crushing us. My husband’s modus operandi was to avoid. So, avoid he did. Our home became his hostel. He’d come home only to sleep and shower.
I was teetering on the edge. One soft blow and I would fall into the abyss. So, when one of our precious pets passed, off the edge I went, hurled into the deep, dark hole to rock bottom. I was in Kauai when I received the news about Ringo, our beloved cat. I was in Kauai when I hit rock bottom and I was in Kauai when I decided I was done being the victim. I would not curl up with my demons and have a pity party. No! I was done being pelted by lemons and I was going to make the world’s best and largest lemonade! I was going to take control of my own life! I was going to be HAPPY! So, I began to read. I read and I researched and I experimented! I became a walking, talking, laughing, life enjoying happiness experiment.
The kids and I moved out to start a new life in the summer of 2014. I was single after being with my husband for 30 years (married for 24 years). I’m not going to tell you it was easy. There have been lots of tears. But for every tear there has been twice as much joy.
In my tireless quest for happiness, I found that it’s not something we happen upon by accident or luck! We can’t sit back and wait for it to happen to us. It’s an active choice. We have to decide to be happy and we have to take steps towards achieving it EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Here are the steps I took in making happiness my reality. They’re tried and true. They worked for me and some, if not all, will work for you.
Is this your year for happiness? All you have to do is decide. It’s the perfect time to make a commitment to your own happiness! You’re worth it! You are the potter and your life is your clay. Create something fabulous! Make this the best year yet!
Sandra Bufford Miller
12/30/2016 06:26:48 pm
Wow, I'm impressed. You express yourself well. Soon you'll be touring like Elizabeth Gilbert.
12/30/2016 08:32:18 pm
12/30/2016 06:32:36 pm
beautfiul and thank you for sharing your steps
12/30/2016 08:34:03 pm
12/30/2016 07:11:53 pm
Thanks for listing the books that you read and liked. I think I'll just have to read a few myself.
12/30/2016 08:35:05 pm
They're all really good! Love Warrior was my latest and it was great!
Sandra Bufford Miller
12/30/2016 10:22:27 pm
I read Love Warrior after Lisa recommended it. I constantly read memoirs and have read all of those written by Mary Karr who is considered one of the best at that genre, and I would say that Love Warrior is comparable to her works.
Leave a Reply.
Lisa is a teacher, mother, yogi, lover of life, and collector of experiences. Her motto: Life is what you make of it. So, do what you love and enjoy every minute! She’s on a journey of self-discovery and believes it’s important to write and share her story as a way of healing herself and others.